Hulu Buys A Virgin Island

"Hulu is launching a dating series titled Virgin Island," variety.com reveals. "Where stunningly attractive and confident singles who claim to have never had sex seek to change that." Yeah, I noticed: "claim to have never had sex."

To maintain reality TV’s reputation for editorial integrity, ITV America could hire hymen-inspecting doctors to ensure female contestants' virginity. The veracity of male contestants' virginity must, by its nature, depend on the honor system.

Then again, a male virginity verification process is not completely out-of-the-question. I'm thinking a lie detector test, social media scan, interrogating friends and former romantic partners (where applicable) and a grilling from a three-judge celebrity panel (including Criss Strokes).

To get a feel for how ITV will, in fact, vet virgins, I clicked on the Virgin Island contestants’ application.

I don't understand why ITV denied access to me, a stunningly attractive 22-year-old virgin, in less time than it takes to get from first to second base.

According to Variety, the Virgin Island application asks “Are you a religious person?”

Holy Satanic Sacrilege Batman! Is Hulu really going to air a show where a woman of faith betrays her religious convictions to bump uglies in a tropical paradise in front of a national TV audience?

They Just Might

Reality TV depends on press coverage and social media buzz to capture enough eyeballs to make money.

A "stunningly attractive" Bible-belter lamenting or proudly trumpeting her (yes her) sexual liberation, would be media catnip. Pair her with a nerdy male virgin and Good Morning America!

Heartfelt Connections

Like the Demi Moore movie Indecent Proposal, Virgin Island may well stimulate a wider cultural conversation about sexual mores, should such things still exist.

No doubt that’s what gave the show the green light.

As the cast finds heartfelt connections and explores their varying reasons for waiting, there will be plenty of unexpected twists, including new arrivals and departures, all culminating in a dramatic finale where burgeoning relationships are put to the test.

So contestants will spill their guts in a half-naked virginity encounter group, make "heartfelt" romantic connections, have sex and report their disappointment/ecstasy/ennui.

How great is that?

How Does a Contestant Win?

Given that ITV is casting virgins who "seek to change that," a Virgin Island contestant who loses their virginity is a "winner."

This assumes that breaking your cherry with someone you met on reality TV in a situation designed to stimulate lust (sold as love) is a good thing. A "sex is OK outside marriage" assumption that underpins every other "dating" reality TV show.

This belief needs scrutiny. But not like this. For example, who gets kicked off the island and why? For having sex or not having sex?

What are the odds that at least one contestant will bail before bumping uglies; self-righteously, in tearful recrimination or both? Creating the dramatic tension and controversy Virgin Island needs to succeed.

I'm also willing to bet we will hear stories of sexual encounters short of penetration, in barely obscured detail. Under the guise of "therapy."

No doubt there will be at least one "fake" virgin, whose unmasking will rear its ugly head (so to speak) on someone's Instagram page, and then The New York Post and other media outlets specializing in "gotcha" celebrity stories.

As for Virgin Island's "new arrivals" twist, we're not talking about the sudden appearance of a so-called right wing religious leader decrying moral turpitude.

More likely it'll be an old almost-lover, providing new temptation and pulling the rug from under an aspiring lover. I can hardly wait. Wait hardly? Whatever.

Personal Choice

My sexless friend Monica AI reminds us that virginity is "a personal choice that varies from individual to individual."

A reality TV show that "forces" stunningly attractive contestants to confront that choice for public titillation and, thus, ratings, will be both entertaining and profitable. It's also, in a word, repellent.

Right From Wrong

People who want to remain a virgin until they feel it's right to end it, or never end it, deserve our respect.

At the same time, those who want sex but find it difficult to find a suitable partner or partners deserve our sympathy.

Regardless of the individual's age, size, shape, color, creed, religious beliefs, sexual identity or sexual orientation.

Let’s face it: sex is an intimate act. Intimacy is best created in an atmosphere of love, respect, safety and... wait for it... privacy.

Yes, Virgin Island will be PG-rated with the usual warnings (save smoking). By the same token, there are such things as exhibitionists.

Ipso facto. Virgin Island contestants are consenting adults ready, willing and able to expose their "sex life" to the world.

But that doesn't remove our individual responsibility to encourage healthy sexual behavior and turn away from media that undermines it.

Pornography is one thing. Virgin Island is another.