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  • Robert Farago

The Art of Manliness

Simply the best?

Matt Walsh (not shown) made an entire career out of asking transgender defenders “what is a woman?” The usual answer: fuck you (not paraphrasing). Moving on… what is a man? More specifically, what is a “real” man? A manly man.


TikTok’s love gurus tend not to tackle this question head-on (so to speak). But they’re quick to define “manliness” by its opposite: a simp.


If you’re not hip to the lingo (Daddy-O), the always PC, occasionally hallucinogenic Bard AI defines it as..

…internet slang that describes someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention toward another person, typically someone who does not reciprocate the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship.

TikTok dating gurus – typically successful “fuck boys” – interpret simping as “being nice.” Not excessively nice. Just nice.


Their central thesis: if you want to avoid incel hell, get in touch with your inner bad boy. Which is what, exactly?



As far as I can tell, the social media love gurus define a bad boy as a man who’s aloof AF.


Example: if a woman texts you, never answer straight away. Pretend you’re too busy doing successful guy shit. When you reply, set-up a date. Nothing else.


Extended text convos? Flowers? Expensive dinners! Ha!


The gurus say you shouldn’t do anything for she-who-must-be-laid – until and unless she’s your women and abides by a code of deferential conduct that wouldn’t have seemed out of place in the Eisenhower era.


This is not advice designed to warn the cockles of a feminist’s heart. But does anyway. Allegedly. Especially maybe even exclusively if you’re wealthy, handsome, tall and possess “big dick energy” (regardless of nature’s generosity in that regard).



Truth be told, the vast majority of men don’t fit the remit. They lack the money, height and bravado to “be the prize.”


The pervasive “don’t simp” mentality puts enormous pressure on men to hide their simpathy. An awkward charade that ends in failure, adding to dangerous feelings of self-loathing.


Many men have simply stopped approaching women. An Australia study reports that half of all Gen Z males have never approached a woman in real life.


A TikTok guru who cheerleads for Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band says being a non-simp/manly doesn’t mean be a dickhead. But…



“Don’t be afraid to touch a woman,” she urges #metoo wary males. “Speak your mind, regardless of what the woman might think.”


My cigar smoking amigo Alix (not shown) says a man taking dating advice from a woman on TikTok is like a hunter asking a Whitetail for advice. Not to go all bovine, I reckon the lady guru’s steering men in the right direction.


Anyway, enough! Time to moot some manly traits for debate, for those who don’t think that half aloof is better than none.


Mission-focused


A man with a mission is a manly man (e.g. Michael Manley). He’s on a quest, facing and vanquishing obstacles in his way. Women quest, of course, but men are supposed to be mission-focused in just about everything they do.


That said, some missions are sexier, more manly than others. Climbing Mount Everest vs. collecting Star Wars figures. Rectifying income inequality vs. train spotting.


That’s not to say a nerdy man can’t be manly, but the odds are perishingly small. And I forgot to mention: some women don’t want a manly man. Go figure.


Confidence


Psycho-babble tells us a manly man judges his self-worth through internal not external validation. Clint Eastwood didn’t need someone to tell him, uh, anything.


The key: don’t be an asshole. Confidence without humility is like a pit bull without training. A manly man’s humble confidence makes him unflappable, angry only when he needs to be, which is rarely.


Humor


A lot of humorous men are what we Jews call a nebbish, exploiting weakness and timidity for laughs (Woody Allen made a career out of it). They’re funny but not manly.


Manly humor is based on wit and self-deprecation, sure, but it’s more about showing you’re confident enough with yourself and your life not to take anything too seriously.


Culturally dependent stuff


Drive a car, ride a motorcycle, shoot a gun, smoke a cigar, cook something edible, hunt, hold your liquor, perform a challenging task competently (other than tying your shoes), raise a man/women, and sing or play an instrument.


Basically, a manly man develops his physical, intellectual and emotional self to its highest degree – always acknowledging the possibility that there’s more to learn – and constantly works to lift others up rather than tear them down.


Shit. That’s being nice. Perhaps the best answer to “what is manly” is whatever the woman you’d like to get to know better (in the Biblical sense) thinks it is. The more you know…

 

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